August 28, 2011

Be Your Own Guru

It seems like there are an awful lot of gurus running around today. From the looks of it, we are surrounded by people who know absolutely everything there is to know about absolutely everything. There are ‘life coaches’, ‘mentors’, ‘strategists’ and all sorts of folks to help us achieve our highest potential in space that used to be reserved for therapists, psychiatrists, licensed clinical social workers and the like. There are good reasons to consult with a trained professional when you feel that you need help – let me be clear that I don’t play in the space that says ‘mental illness is all in your head’. In fact, it deeply troubles me to see people playing quasi-professionals in space that should be reserved for trained professionals with people who need professional help. Digging in people’s heads with not a whiff of training is serious business, predatory and unethical. That said, if you don’t need professional help - I also believe it is important to get comfortable being your own guru.

At the end of the day – nobody knows you better than you. Turning to another person to provide ‘the answer’ to questions that you are seeking only works to the extent that you are really willing to be honest about what your questions really are. The truth of the matter is you have most of the answers seek. Sometimes what you want isn’t an answer but rather validation. Validation that something you’ve believed to be true is in fact true. Validation that the path you are on that does not feel right to you is in fact not right for you. Validation that it is time for you to do something that you have been yearning to do for a very long time. You don’t need a guru for that. You only need to decide that you are your own guru, this is your life and you know you best. Do what you know you need to do.

Be your own guru.

August 2, 2011

I’m. Over. It.

DSC_8082_6146 I wake up every day, but today I really WOKE UP. We broke up … again. You’d think I would be used to it. You’d think it would hurt less each time. You’d think I’d have some coping strategies in place by now. You’d think it would be less shocking. You’d be wrong on all counts. So – here I am picking myself up from Round Three, shaking my head in wonder and asking myself what in the world is wrong with me then I realized that when I woke up today something was very different. I’ve been climbing the hill for so long with my head down I didn’t realize I’d summited and was on my way down the other side.

I’m. Over. It.

Trusting your heart to another human being is the most heady, risky, crazy thing that we do in our lifetime and it is the one thing I think we must do – over and over again. It is how we live. We live to love. We risk much in the process but we gain much too.

This chapter is closed but there is something on the horizon and I am … ready.